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It's Been A While

2006-03-17T15:26:00.000-08:00

Greetings all -- it's been a while since my last update. Truth be told, before the end of the season last fall I was too fed up with hanging out on the sidelines. Then I took off for a two month backpacking trip through Southeast Asia. Now that I'm back, it's time to drum up some more enthusiasm for the cause. Let me know if you have any ideas!

Thanks,
Ian

Judd, Judd, Judd

2005-12-05T08:36:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing that irks me the most, its hypocrisy. Judd reeks of it. It drips from his brow like sweat. Here's a guy who has consistely lied throughout the entire season: about who he's going to vote off, about the location of the immunity idol, about pretty much everything. And yet he somehow doesn't see it. He lives in his own little world where he is the only stalwart, honest Survivor competitor, and everyone else is mired in their own chase for the "cheese" or "nut" or whatever Judd calls the million dollar prize.

Then on Thursday's tribal council, Judd cast vote for Lydia, and even delivers a memorable quip while hholding up the paper: "You danced and sang your way right outta the jungle," he says. (Remember this is after he asked Lydia not to vote for him). And then when its his number that up he has the audacity to call the other tribe members "scumbags" and still claim he never told a lie. At the final council he will likely vent his hypocritical rage again. I can't wait.

Missed Out

2005-11-23T11:03:00.000-08:00

Sorry haven't updated in a while. Missed commenting on Bobby Jon and Jamie getting the boot. Bobby Jon was certainly fun to have around, but Jamie was definitely losing it and had to go. I wrote on my own Survivor case that I wouldn't be one of those Survivors to slowly lose their sanity, and Jamie was a perfect example of what I was talking about. Ah well. I suppose it could've been worse. (Remember whats-his-name from Marquesas I think...that guy with the machete who everyone thought was going to try and hack them up?) Anyway, enough for now.

Episode 8 - Putting the "Ass" in Class

2005-11-06T08:27:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a great episode. I think it was probably one of my favourite in a while. They appeared to let the scenes really run their course as the Survivors waged a moral battle against themselves: to vote off good-guy Brandon, or remain loyal to big-mouth Jamie.

The food challenge was absolute genious. Leave it to the Survivor producers to come up with something so obviously geared to stir the pot and reveal just how comfortable some contestants feel they are in the game. Jamie obvously fell into this trap (though the chicken wings and wine probably loosened his tongue somewhat). Anyway, at the vote I was disheartened to see Brandon go -- obviously the better man -- but it makes sense for the other Suvivors to keep Jamie around, even take him to the final two because everyone else would never give him the million.

Episode 7 - Bobby Jon, That's Just Nasty

2005-10-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

Once again, I lament the fact my VCR failed last time and I didn't get to see Judd's ranting at Margaret. Of the short clips they played before this week's episode, it looked like he was the height of petty maliciousness (including that leering smile he gave after Margaret recieved the verdict). I'm sure Judd is probably a big "teddy bear" when he's not bitter and half-starved in the jungle, as in this case.

Anyway this episode showed once again the toll this Survivor is taking on the Surviviors. Those were some nasty looking bruises and scabs from last week's challenge. I don't think any of the previous contestants have looked that beaten up and raw before. Starved, sure, but not festering masses of sweaty, human limbs? The best part was when Bobby Jon was floating in the pool and little fish were eating the white, floaty parts of his shoulder scabs. Bobby Jon, in return, would try to catch one of them in his house. Darwinism baby, survival of the fittest.

The vote was pretty straight forward. Amy didn't have the alliance numbers to keep her in the game, plus her ankle was hurt and she was starting to give idle threats to Gary. I bet she's sitting at home cursing Gary for lying to her as we speak. Better change your name and your address Gary, lest she eventually finds you out and puts you on the FBI's 'most wanted' list for fun.

Episode 6 - Why VCR's Are Extinct

2005-10-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

Well unfortunately for some inexplicable reason, the VCR I was using to tape the show (yes, I still have a VCR) suddenly cut out halfway through the episode. And I didn't realize it until I sat down to watch it last night.

Anyway the tape did go as far as Jamie and Bobby Jon screaming at each other like crazed gorillas in the jungle. That wasn't as big an event as the preview clips led the audience to believe -- as if it was about to come to blows. I can't help but wonder what the actual monkeys are thinking as they lounge up in the trees while the 'higher evolved' humans push a giant ball around below.

And it's too bad I missed the trible council because I hear Judd really let loose on Margaret. I still can't understand why Judd called out the immunity puzzle 'ANCIENT RUIN' like 4 times (just in case Rafe didn't hear him). Either way, Brian and Margaret said goodbye.

Episode 5 - The Big Rope Embarassment

2005-10-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

I love how Judd defends his treachery at the beginning of the episode. He talks about how the game is "cutthroat" and how each contestant has to do whatever they can to get ahead. Then he says the only thing that matters is the "love of his family." Now that's all fine and good, but what does that have to do with Survivor? I think Judd is just trying hard to justify his actions to himself.

Oh, the challenge! The reward challenge had to be one of the best the show has ever come up with (mostly for the go cart ride at the end). Too bad one tribe didn't make it past the first step. Jamie, as much as I feel bad for him, that was an embarassment. Yet I wonder why no one on his team told him to stop sawing the rope when it became obvious it was about as effective as using a butterknife.

And then afterwards by the dock, Judd is suddenly all about the team, and how they can't place blame because a team "doesn't work like that." Make up your mind Judd. Stephanie is really coming out as a bitter person these days. Attacking Bobby John for his "feminine" qualities will not win her popularity points.

The immunity challenge was pretty good, though I'm surprised the tribes weren't more aggresive in pushing each other out of the way. At the vote, "frat-boy" Blake was booted off, much to his surprise, considering BJ and Danni went against their alliance. Guess it's not much of a penalty when Blake can head back to his self-professed "DD girlfriend." If that's all you need in life Blake, then go gettem.

Survivor Slump?

2005-10-12T16:11:00.000-07:00

Interesting story from today's Metro newspaper:

"Reality TV will make you rich — if it lasts another season. These are the mixed signals the industry is getting from the TV genre that was supposed to scour the broadcast landscape clean, at least according to everything we read two years ago.

"Nearly every returning entry in the once white-hot genre is either flat or down," said the Hollywood Reporter in a Monday story, as the summer ends and more sober numbers are coming in with the fall season.

Warhorses like Survivor are down, with the popular grime, sweat n' bugs show losing 19 per cent of its coveted 18-49-year-old demographic..." [full article]

Seems like nothing is able to kickstart the ratings...except maybe a Canadian/American matchup! I'm just saying.

Episode 4 - King of the Jungle

2005-10-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

So...hot...sweating...can't type any...witty....commentary. Actually here in Vancouver it's fairly cold and rainy. Not like summer in Guatemala. I love the contrast the editors made between the Nakum camp in the baking sun (even though they were technically supposed to have the 'better' site) and the riverside camp of Yaxha tribe. The river did look pretty refreshing. Until the crocodile of course. Ethan remarked on the Survivor Strikes back blog that they "did a great job of hiding the cage that the croc slithered out of." Makes me wonder if the wild animals were placed in the other seasons as well. Or maybe Ethan is just yanking our chain...

The reward challenge/tribe mix up was well done. The producers are always great at running challenges that reveal what the tribe mates really feel about eachother -- such as who's the smelliest, weakest, hardest worker. The results were interesting, Bobby Jon and Gary get to smell good for at least a few hours, though Danni certainly looks like she needs more than an apple. But why oh why is Gary continuing to lie about his past QB history? Ego? Illusion? Oh what a tangled web we weave when we lie and say we're a landscaper when a radio sportscaster is now on our tribe.

And Judd...silly move my friend. Silly move. To jump ship that easily says his confidence in his past tribe was slim, and he appears more than willing to do it with his new alliance. (In between his Tarzan declarations about 'his' jungle of course). It may not have been as much of an issue if his aim hadn't wasted so much time at the challenge. Does anyone ever remember playing the old TurboGraphix 16 game "Bonk's Adventure?" For some reason watching the tribe's huck these small club-like paddles reminded me of those glory days. Back when there was no new fangled "3D" worlds...only beautiful 2D in 8 colours.

Anyway, Brooke took the fall at this tribal council. Can't say I'm that sorry to see her go. Brooke, we hardly knew yee. Jeff also made a stinging remark to Stephanie asking if she was the bad luck charm for her tribe, a thought I'm sure most of the audience is pondering. Or maybe Mark Burnett and crew have been conspiring all along to put her on a tribe that's bound to lose...you never know.

NEWS FLASH: Jeff Probst may quit as host of Survivor!

Episode 3 - Doing It Mayan Style

2005-09-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

Another episode over, another member voted off the tribe. I thought this one was pretty good. A couple new developments are coming to light - such as Brian's apparent sneakiness in 'manufacturing' the tribe's consent in getting rid of Morgan. Then there were the howler monkeys that started driving Nakum crazy. That would probably drive me nuts as well, especially if it carried on through the night. Then again (as I stated in the bio on my site) a tribe has yet to tame the resident monkey population to do their bidding. Perfect opportunity? I'm just saying...

Does anyone else notice the editing style appears different? My friend pointed this out and I think he's right. The conversations that make the cut are sometimes not directly related to the game's strategy, such as Amy the police officer talking about the conditions of the game. Then there are interviews done directly in camp (instead of away from the group, which sometimes happened before but not always), as well as different artistic flairs like slow dissolves and fades. Perhaps they brought in new editing talent.

Anyway back to the second challenge. That was awesome. Reminded me of those sports we'd play during lunch hour in high school, except on a raised mesh court and Jeff Probst sporting a sweet hat on the side. Danni appeared to be the superstar this time around. Brianna and Lydia left much to be desired, with Brianna not even moving half the time. Either the editors continued showing that one clip to make it seem worse, or Brianna really wasn't moving much and should have expected to be suitably chastised (which she was of course).

A high point was Jeff Probst throwing out the line, "Now we're doing it...like the Maya did!" which made me curious about the sport. I looked it up on Wikipedia:

The ball game was extremely violent. Players wore heavy padding. Even so, there were often serious injuries, and occasionally death. On some occasions post-game ceremonies featured the sacrifice of the captain and other players on the losing side. The association of the game with sacrifice and death was particularly marked on the Gulf coast. A loser's skull might be used as the core around which a new rubber ball would be made.

I think Jeff should have competed as the 'ringer' and bet his hat...

Episode 2 - Spider Monkeys

2005-09-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

What is the deal with ex-quarterback Gary keeping his past occupation a secret? I don't understand why he thinks we would get voted out "immediately" if it was revealed. Big deal he was a quarterback 15 years ago. I'm sure his tribe would have gotten over it if he didn't pretend he was a landscaper. Now that Danni from the other tribe mentioned it at the tug-o-war challenge, they're probably wondering why Gary thought to hide it in the first place.

Anyway, the spider-web rope challenge was pretty cool. How is it possible for Blake to barely draw breath at camp, then somehow pull out a big win for his tribe at the challenges? Judd made a good point about it, saying if he slept all day like Blake, he'd "be the big hero" at the challenges as well. Tough break for Brian who lost it right at the end. If you actually look closely at the footage, I think it was a little less close then the editors led the audience to believe. Ah well, heightened drama this way.

Still no strong personalities in the show yet, but since it's still the first episodes, that's fairly standard. One of the supposed tricks to guessing who will go far is to see which characters aren't interviewed very much (as chances are, they'll be interviewed later on). This trick didn't work too well if you consider Morgan had little to say and was solidly voted out. I figure that's the toughest part of the game -- being the first on your tribe to go. Not around long enough to really make an impression, and just long enough to get a feel for the game.

Epidsode 1 - The Beginning

2005-09-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

Well I missed taping the first 4 minutes of the show, so I didn't see how they ended up in the jungle. All I know is after introducing Bobby John and Stephanie, that grueling overnight hike to the camp was brutal. Pouring rain and howling monkeys overhead? No sleep for them. I did think it was interesting the producers let the tribes stumble a swath through the jungle, which it most likely a national park and probably wasn't doing the eco-system a favour.

As with all first episodes of Survivor, there usually isn't that much to report because we don't really know much about the characters yet and it's pretty difficult to pick any standouts. I will say that it's pretty embarassing all four of the Nakum men went down right away. Especially Bobby John who worked like a machine last season.

And Jim Lynch got the boot -- a safe and easy vote for the Nakum tribe. Jim was the most obvious choice (with his torn bicep) and no one was willing to put themselves out there to draw attention by voting for someone else. A good start to the season. Guess we'll see where it goes next.

What's Your Sign?

2005-08-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

I recently received some interesting info via Greg (bio below) about the relationship between Survivors and their astrological signs. He says:

"I did a statistical analysis of Survivor for the Edmonton Journal according to the zodiac signs of contestants. With the exception of All-Stars, the only sign that has ever won twice is Capricorn. Capricorn is also the sign that has been cast on the show the most, with nineteen contestants. Until Tom won the last series, no sign had ever won twice.

Cancer, one of four signs that has never won at all, leads the stats race. Without winning, they've still placed higher than any sign. They've also been in the top three through nine installments of the show. Aquarius, despite having a winner once, is the last place sign, and has been in the bottom three since the beginning. Your odds of getting cast on the show are far greater if you're a Capricorn or an Aquarius, and freakishly low if you're a Libra -- four times less, in fact. Traditionally aggressive, overbearing signs (Aries, Cancer, Capricorn) routinely do better than supposedly gregarious, peace-loving signs (Aquarius, Leo, Libra)."

More info on all the signs:

Aries: Aggressive, overbearing, rash, with an overwhelming desire to be first. Typically cast off for being threatening, like Burton. Richard Hatch was the Aries winner. 11 cast so far. Tied for 2nd place with Pisces.

Taurus: Down-to-earth, easygoing, yet menacing when angered. Often ditched after stress reveals their tenacity and stubborn streak. No Taurus winner so far. Bobby-Jon was the last memorable Taurus. 14 cast so far. 11th place overall.

Gemini: Shifty, able to play both sides of the fence, and always thinking too far ahead. Cast off for scheming more often than not. Katie is the highest placing Gemini, and tattooed Lex is also a Gemini. 9 cast so far. 5th place overall.

Cancer: Generally able to cultivate strong alliances, playing the sappy, emotional part of the game well. No Cancer has won, but several have come close. Usually cast off for being recognized as a threat, but only after getting into the dominant group. Kelly and Sue Hawk from the first Survivor are both Cancers. 12 cast so far. 1st place overall and holding strong.

Leo: The best Leo players have typically made everyone like them too much to vote them off. Leos thrive on admiration. Although I haven't included All-Stars in these stats, Amber is a Leo. Sandra was the only Leo winner. 13 cast so far. 8th place overall.

Virgo: Cunning, often able to zip it while everyone else eats each other alive. Prone to losing when the inherent bitchiness of the sign is revealed (Jerri). Chris is the only Virgo winner, but Kim Johnson who was second to Ethan is also a Virgo. 13 cast so far. 7th place overall.

Libra: Regarded as the "peacemaker" of the zodiac, the passive Libras always go home early. The shifty ones who pretend to sit on the fence do well. Evil Rob and Twyla are the Libras who have gone the farthest. Only 5 cast so far. 4th place overall.

Scorpio: Secretive scorpios have done well when they've shut their mouths and when they've used sex appeal to get further in the game. They've done poorly when they've been pouty outsiders. Ethan is the only Scorpio winner. 14 cast so far. 9th place overall.

Sagittarius: Energetic, gregarious Sagittarians should be doing well, but there have been a couple who have thrown in the towel way too early. Vecepia, who made it to the end by being nice to everyone, is the only Sagittarian winner. Stephenie is also a Sagittarius. 13 cast so far. 10th place overall.

Capricorn: Capricorn is typically the "old" sign; the mature player who takes on a leadership role. Attempting to control the camp usually gets a Capricorn cast off. Tina and Tom are the two Capricorn winners. 6th place overall.

Aquarius: Friendly and popular, but with a million quirks to inevitably annoy their fellow castaways (take Rupert, for example), Aquarians have been in the stats basement since the beginning of the show. Jenna was the only Aquarian winner. 16 cast so far. 12th place overall.

Pisces: The Pisces contestants who have done well have done it by pairing up with Capricorns. Brian, the Pisces who won, had Capricorn Clay by his side. Neleh and Pascal, both Pisces, had Kathy, another Capricorn. Jen had Greg. Pisces should be a typically non-aggressive sign, but they've done incredibly well while allowing others to do their dirty work for them. 11 cast so far. Tied for 2nd place overall.

Greg Polkosnikbeen has been the astrology columnist for Teen Vogue, Harper's Bazaar Online and Nylon magazine, as well as the author of "Cosmically Chic: Discovering Your Fashion Style through Astrology". He lives in Edmonton where he spends the cold winters at the gym so he can be ready to don a Speedo when Canadians are finally allowed onto Survivor.

New Cast Revealed

2005-08-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

Hi all, seeing as today they revealed the new cast, I thought I'd post a link up. It appears they decided to stick with only 16 this time around, perhaps because it dragged a little long last time. But as noted by Andy at Reality Blurred, this could just be a tactic to set up a twist further into the game. Who knows? Guess we'll find out Sept 15, 2005.

Welcome

2005-06-18T07:54:00.000-07:00

This is the place for my weekly commentary for the next season of Survivor. Comments are encouraged. See you in September! In the meantime, here's what I like to call:

Ian's Top 10 Signature Comments
(in no particular order)

#755
Gracie, United States
“If you let this dude on Survivor, I promise to purchase products from companies who sponsor the show, PLUS buy them for all my friends. Mountain Dew and Pringles for EVERYONE!”

#1276
Marta, Italy
“Yes, Italy. I think you're crazy but I love the enthusiasm. Your willingness to tackle the system appeals to me. All the best to you and make all us Canadians all over the world proud.”

#1035
George, Canada
“Hey I'll join ya… kick some yank butt... besides it’s like they can’t even make a fire... who can’t eat bugs and who can’t break a nail or get cold? Survivor Canada: North Pole: which body part will freeze first.”

#253 Jeremy, Canada
“I heard he made out with my wife's cousin at their other cousin's second wedding. That's a man that knows how to mix it up Survivor style, let him on!”

#659 Cara, Canada
“Don't let the Americans be intimidated by us....I mean there is a slight chance that we may not win. Like how there was a slight chance that our Jr. Hockey team wouldn't kick ass and win gold.”

#588 Kelly, Canada
“We have a survivor pool going each season and I came in dead last for Vanuatu but I'd bet on you going all the way buddy! Way to represent. I think your one luxury item should be a speedo - show those americans that yes Canadian beef is safe!”

#390 Evan, Canada
“I think ‘The Swan’ would be a more fitting reality tv show for ya bud. Go Canada!”

#251 Lester, Canada
“Ian's good enough to not only be on Survivor, but to take over for Jeff Probst as host of Survivor. Or at least let him host Rock N' Roll Jeopardy.”

#754 Tony, Canada
“The REALITY of it is: spend your time doing something better with yourself and for society. Good luck anyway, I'm signing because you put so much effort in this useless tirade. To everyone else reading this: GET A LIFE!”

#669
Hanz From Germany, Germany
“Even I want him on!”